Eye of the Tiger, Baby!

All right, I'm committed to running the Cincinnati Flying Pig Half Marathon next year. I haven't paid the registration fee yet, but mentally I'm there. It's a 13.1 mile, uphill-for-8-miles course I am currently totally intimidated by. I'm scared for the following reasons:

1. The longest I've ever run so far is 7.5 miles.

2. The longest race I've ever run is 6.2 miles.

3. One guy died last year after this race.

4. I still weigh 219 lbs. (but I used to be 260!), and I would need to get to 200 or under to handle the distance.

However, I'm optimistic for the following reasons:

1. I have 8 months to train, and I have found a training regiment that is only 12 weeks long (assuming I run about 20 miles a week average before starting the regiment).

2. I should be able to lose 20 lbs. in 8 months. It'll be sweet to get out of the "Clydesdale B" category!

3. The guy who died probably didn't train very well.

4. 5570 other people who did the half didn't die.

I will keep you posted on how training is going. I'm sure there will be highs and lows to share.
This is going to be a huge accomplishment for me, considering I've been a runner only one year and two months.

Here's my training update for August:

Current Weight: 219

Pounds to Goal Weight: 24

Miles Run This Month: 63.2

Miles Run This Year: 406.1

Days Until Go Time: 247

That's it for now. I'll keep you posted once a month until the time gets closer (like in March). Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go run. . . .

A Reductio Regarding Condom Distribution in Schools

Does this really help kids become sexually responsible?



If the proper response to "they're going to do it anyway, so we might as well equip them to do it safely" is condom distribution, then couldn't we also say...

• "kids are going to binge drink anyway, so we should teach them the proper use of a beer bong and how to call a taxi when drunk."


• "kids are going to smoke anyway, so we should buy them the cigarettes while warning them against the dangers of smoking."


• "kids are going to smoke weed anyway, so we distribute water bongs and let them smoke it in the privacy of our home."

See what I mean? It's a total defeatist attitude that communicates to teenagers Here, we don't know what else to do, so we give up and hope you at least don't get a STD or get your girlfriend pregnant. It encourages irresponsibility and gives a green light to promiscuity.

"How can it encourage irresponsibility when it seems to do the opposite?" you may wonder. Condom distribution encourages irresponsibility because it encourages indulging one's sexual desires outside of the proper context of marriage.

"Now you're just a religious nutjob, with all that 'sex is for marriage' junk." I saw you coming, you worthless ad hominem. And I refer you to the following statistics regarding premarital sex.

Am I therefore saying "take all the condoms away, teach abstinence only, and cross our fingers?" Not necessarily. Kids are kids; therefore, they are stupid. We probably do need some measures to minimize stupidity-induced damage, but both the condom distribution method and the abstinence-only method fail in one substantial way: they treat behavior, not the heart and the will. They address the symptoms, but not the root cause of the problem.

Parents, youth ministers, churches - this is where you come in. Please model sexual propriety and please talk about sexuality with your kids. Christians in particular have a huge obligation to do this. Most importantly for them, provide every opportunity for your children to deepen their faith and enjoy meaningful learning, worship, and fellowship with other Christian youth.

Shaman Wart Fungi, or Fun With Anagrams

I found this site where you can type in any name or phrase and it will automatically be rearranged into as many anagrams as the English language allows. Most of the results don't make any sense, but some are fabulous.



For example, here are some results from my name:
A Karma Nudge
Anagram Duke
Raga Dank Emu
Garden Auk Ma
Dank Argue Am
Damn Rage Auk
A Mad Era Gunk



And Heidi's name:

Adieu Gherkin
Eureka Hiding
Hankie Guider
Haiku Reigned
Egad Hike Ruin
Idea Hiker Gun
Adieu Her King
A Nude Hike Rig



Have Another Think comes out as:

Heaven Torah Think
Tavern Hath Honkie (my favorite)
Aha Never Think Hot
Heaven Hath Irk Not





Don't forget to check out the very funny and interesting Anagram Hall of Fame.