Countdown to 26.2: 18 weeks

I realized yesterday that I begin my marathon training regiment in less than two weeks. I am not exactly ready for this, let alone the thought of running 26.2 miles in one day. But for the sake of seeing some actual progress, here are some baseline statistics which will be used for comparison throughout my training.

• Starting weight: 240 (yep . . . ouch)

• Miles run in December: 24.4

• Notable decisions made this month: I realize that food is always going to be my toughest area to control. I love to eat, and, unfortunately, my standards are low, so I'll eat all kinds of stuff I shouldn't be eating. Two days ago, however, I started (once again, see my posts from Jan. 2008) cleaning it up somewhat, not as strictly as before, but focusing on not eating so much at a time, and not eating when I'm bored.

Last year, the half marathon was more of a logical next step in my evolution as a runner. This year, however, I feel that the full marathon is more of a life-changing event, some kind of metaphor for finding oneself in life and conquering fears. Taking a marathon seriously will change your life: you eat differently, you run differently, you face physical and mental challenges you've never had before, you have to invest many, many hours in training, and you must believe in yourself or you will not get past week six or so in the sixteen-week training program.

The timing in all this intensifies the greatness of the moment: my final semester in grad school (which brings its own worries and challenges), my ten-year anniversary, turning 32 next week (and realizing just how mortal I am), and noting that my dad had his heart attack at age 35, and he weighed only about 20 pounds more than I do right now when it happened. Not only do I want to run this marathon; I need to run this marathon.

So I will check in with this countdown every four weeks, or as often as it takes to succinctly yet fully convey this experience to you. For now, however, it's time to sleep.

"Happy Holidays": A Sign of The Coming Anti-Christian Apocalypse?

Some Christians believe that there has been a war on Christmas, some kind of systematic attack on the religious aspect of December 25 which seeks to accomplish several objectives:

• Replace "Merry Christmas" with "Happy Holidays" at retail stores
• Remove or ban nativity scenes on government property
• Replace traditional, Christian Christmas carols with songs like "Jingle Bells"
• Emphasize Santa and de-emphasize Jesus

While the above items have indeed happened in many places, does this constitute some kind of organized, premeditated attack on Jesus and his followers? Do we need to take Christmas back from the evil hands of the far left?

I don't know if it's an organized thing or not, probably not. Even if it were, why do Christians care so much about non-Christian people doing non-Christian things to a tradition about which they neither know much nor care much? I have some random thoughts to help us Christians put this whole "war on Christmas" thing in perspective:

• This is primarily a North American thing; few people, including Christians, outside the US care about this at all.
• The word "holiday" means "holy day." It's still religious!
  
• Why should Christians get all the attention, anyway? Christmas, technically speaking, is only on December 25; therefore, if we insist that people say "Merry Christmas" at Wal-Mart, shouldn't they only have to do it on the day itself (and Wal-Mart is closed!)? We are being greedy to insist that people greet us the way we want them to on days that aren't even our holiday.
• There are four major holidays in December, only one of which is Christian. Dec. 9th is Eid al-Adha, a Muslim holiday. December 21-29 is Hanukkah, a Jewish holiday. December 25th is, of course, Christmas. And December 26-January 1 is Kwanzaa, a non-religious African-American holiday. If we really are a nation whose core value is freedom (even freedom to practice any [or no] religion), shouldn't we say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" alone?
  
• "Xmas" is not an attempt to avoid saying "Christmas." The X is the Greek letter Chi, which is the first letter in the Greek form of "Christ." It's shorthand, not desecration.
• Americans need to put their perceived persecution in perspective. Thousands of Indian Christians in Orissa will be celebrating Christmas hiding in forests and jungles because their homes and churches have been burned and destroyed by Hindu radicals. Many of them will celebrate Christmas mourning the loss of family or friends killed in these attacks. And we think that the cashier at Target saying "Happy Holidays" is worth even caring about? "Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering" (Hebrews 13:3).
• Who cares if people in our society are trying to take Christ out of Christmas? It's not their job to teach the meaning of Christmas to your kids; it's your job, and it's the church's job.
  
• The way to teach the meaning of Christmas it not to declare war on the war on Christmas. We must give a reason for the hope that we have, but we must do it "with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously about your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of your slander" (1 Peter 3:15-16). Has our behavior in reaction to this "war" been good?
  

Let Christians be the guardians of Christmas, especially the part about peace on earth.

Christian Songs That Annoy Me

Today, I present another sour morsel for you to chew on. It is none other than Point of Grace's megahit "How You Live (Turn Up The Music)" [my comments in red]

[Before we begin, can I just say I don't like songs
with two titles? Yes, that includes you, Chris Rice with your
ironically-titled "Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus)"]

Wake up to the sunlight
With your windows open
Don't hold in your anger or leave things unspoken
Wear your red dress
Use your good dishes
Make a big mess and make lots of wishes
Have what you want
But want what you have
And don't spend your life lookin' back
No harm done so far, just a little sentimental
and nothing overtly Christian.

Chorus:
Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
You won't regret it (maybe)
Lookin' back from where you have been
Cuz it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
What does that leave you with? Pretty much all of life
is summed up in "who you knew" and "what you did."
I guess their emphasis is on how you did what you did.


Verse 2:
So go to the ballgames
And go to the ballet
And go see your folks more than just on the holidays
Kiss all your children
Dance with your wife
Tell your husband you love him every night
Don't run from the truth
'Cause you can't get away
Just face it and you'll be okay

Chorus:
Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
You won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live

Bridge:
Oh wherever you are and wherever you've been
Now is the time to begin

Verse 3:
So give to the needy
And pray for the grieving
Even when you don't think that you can
'Cause all that you do is bound to come back to you
So think of your fellow man
Stop, stop, Stop! What are you, Hindu or something with
all this karma stuff? This is not Christian. There is
"a man reaps what he sows" (Galatians 6:7), but that is a different context.
Make peace with God and make peace with yourself
'Cause in the end there's nobody else
except everybody else in your life . . . duh.

Apart from the "make peace with God" part, there really is nothing that says "this is a Christian song." I've heard Tim McGraw songs that were more Christian than this ("Drugs or Jesus," anyone?). Heck, I've heard Poison songs that were more Christian ("Something to Believe In"). If this were not intended to be a Christian song, that's one thing and I can accept that. Just because a Christian group records a song, it does not mean that they must always record overtly Christian songs (for example, Sixpence and their "Kiss Me").

But what irks me is that our local Christian station, as well as K-Love, have heralded this song as "song of the year" material for the Dove Awards. It was, in fact a nominee for Country Recorded Song of the Year at the Dove Awards for 2008, which it won.

Long review short, fix up the unbiblical karma stuff, and it's just another sentimental "live life" song. I just like to complain.

When Pigs Fly (aka May 3rd, 2009)

All right, another update on my progress toward 26.2. Right now, not so good. I've gained about four pounds since I announced that I was going to run in the Cincinnati Flying Pig Marathon next May. Yep, that puts me at about 235, our about 20 lbs away from my pre-running days weight. I can't believe it: my low this year was about 210!

The hardest part has been re-establishing a post-baby, yet-another-busy-semester running schedule. Heidi works about 20 hours a week, in the mornings, which means that three or four days a week, I don't get enough sleep (reminder: I get home from work about 4am) to want to run when I get up. That and I love food. Food has always been my weak spot. I don't just eat to survive; I enjoy eating. Not to an obsessive, never-gets-enough extreme, but I do love me some Tendercrisp chicken sandwiches.

I'm still running; it's just sporadic and not enough to establish the kind of basline I need to begin formal marathon training NEXT MONTH!

Wish me luck. Ugh.

Christian Songs That Annoy Me (Christmas Edition)

It's been a while since my last installment in one of my favorite passive-aggressive hobbies: cynically (but somewhat legitimately, I hope) analyzing and rolling my eyes at various Christian songs out there. 'Tis the season for sappy, warm fuzzy songs, and none of them drips with as much tortured emotion and heart string pulling as Christmas Shoes. It's Christian because Newsong does a version of it, and the movie version (starring Rob Lowe?!) and its sequel (!!!) are sold by Christian Book Distributors. So here we go (as always, my comments are in red):

It was almost Christmas time
There I stood in another line
Trying to buy that last gift or two
I'm really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me
Was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing around like little boys do
And in his hands he held
A pair of shoes

And his clothes were worn and old
He was dirty from head to toe
Does Daddy not know how to run the bath water? The kid can buy shoes but not operate a bathtub? Maybe he works at the coal mines.
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say

Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
Here son, go get some shoes while Mommy dies. Priorities.
You see, she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight.

They counted pennies for what seem like years
Daddy lets him go get shoes but doesn't help with the bill?
And cashier says son there's not enough here
He searches his pockets frantically
And he turned and he looked at me
And he said Momma made Christmas good at our house
Most years she just did without
Tell me Sir
What am I gonna do?
Some how I’ve got to buy her these Christmas shoes

So I layed the money down
I just had to help him out
And I'll never forget
The look on his face
When he said Momma's gonna look so great.

Sir I wanna buy these shoes, for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see, she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful,
If Momma meets Jesus tonight.

I knew I caught a glimpse of heaven's love as he thanked me and ran out.
I know that God had sent that little boy to remind me
What Christmas is all about
Buying stuff? Loving a dying parent? Is that limited to Christmas?

Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight

I want her to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight

I propose a final chorus, with some modifications:

Sir, I wanna buy these shoes - yes, on Christmas Eve,
I probably should have done this weeks ago.
Could you hurry, Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time.
You see, I should be with Mom right now
And I can't imagine what I'd feel
If I'm stuck here buying Christmas shoes
And Momma meets Jesus tonight.